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The Doctor is out on a call.  Luckily Mr. M. had his next letter of his arcane alphabet ready to roll…

On alternating Tuesdays, Justin Maudslien, aka Sub-Human’s Mr. M., explores weird and little known factoids and shares his skewed observations about the world of comics, cartoons and sequential art.

It’s that time of year again, spring is sprung, and in honor of that, this letter G could stand for many things: G-string, the G-spot, or God, a special Easter edition. No, this blog will be my rant, as I hammer out my complaints against “The Glut.”

Today the G stands for the infamous comic book gluts put out in order to sell a few extra copies. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for capitalism and making an extra buck if you can, but there comes a point when the market cannot hold any more issues for a certain character or crossover event. It is true that there is too much of a good thing, and comics are no exception.

Thoroughly Punished

Let me tell you a tale of a young comic collector who would spend his hard earned paper route money on anything that said “Collectible item” or “G.I. Joe.” In order to get a “box” at my local comic shop I had to reserve 3 titles and pick them up on a regular basis and in exchange I would get 15% off. The choice was easy: I picked G.I. Joe, G.I. Joe Special Missions, and the Punisher to round out the gun theme. (It was only after my nuts dropped that I felt a kinship to the spandex clad comic super-warriors of today.) The next thing I know there was Punisher, Punisher War Zone, Punisher War Journal, Punisher Summer Special, a Punisher annual, and the ridiculously bad Punisher Armory. Overwhelmed, I purchased them all and each one was more disappointing than the last. My prepubescent brain could not comprehend so many storylines, mediocre art, and finally the futility of existence in a cold and uncaring world.

You Can Do Side-bends or Sit-ups but Please Don’t Lose That Glut

I just got back from the Emerald City Comic Con, filled with C-list celebrities, smelly fanboys, disgruntled artists, and the occasional obligatory girlfriend in tow.  In short, it was heaven.  However, under all that sugar-coated multicolored glory a faint smell of desperation filled the room.  The exhibitors were in force trying to unload thousands of copies of Youngblood, spin-off titles, variant covers that never went up in value, and the tail-end titles of mega crossovers.  Not even the most attractive booth babe could convince me to pick up that stack of Steel comics.

The early ’90s glutted it up as several selling titles were spread far more thin than the Punisher. When I was bitten by the X-Men bug I had two titles: Uncanny X-Men and X-Men. The next thing I know, I had to buy all these other comics like X-Factor, New Mutants, and various other X titles just to follow the storyline of a handful of mutants I liked and a sea of mutants I could care less about. Occasionally I would accidentally buy a classic X-Men book and wonder why Storm suddenly had a mohawk.

Spider-Man is another character who consistently sells, so he has sprouted several spin-off titles. However, I’m going to stick with Amazing Spider-Man, and that is it. I’ll pass on the fancy variant covers.  I’ll pass on the one-shots, and I’ll pass on the spin offs… and if for some reason the original product that spawned all those becomes as watered down as the shallow books out to make a quick buck then I’m dropping that one as well. ‘Nuff Said.

Fool Me Once, Shame on — Shame on You. Fool Me — You Can’t Get Fooled Again.

I still collect G.I. Joe – the characters are near and dear to my heart – but the simple fact is I cannot afford several titles a month. My last trip to the comic shop brought G.I. Joe Origins #2 in my hands. Out of habit I picked it up, but once I got home I immediately wondered why I bought it and why I paid $3.99 for a regular 22-page comic?!?  At least I was smart enough to only get one of the two covers. Right now, IDW owns the rights to the G.I. Joe titles and they have wasted no time in putting out a regular G.I. Joe title, G.I. Joe: Cobra, G.I. Joe: Origins, and G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra Movie Prequel. If they took all those great ideas and fine-tuned them into a fantastic storyline, they might come up with something close to the amazing run Devil’s Due Publishing had with World War III. (Not to be confused with the DC title that was a spin off from 52.)

Probably the worst glut today is the countless zombie books. Sweet Jesus, I used to love zombies, but now I can’t stand them. Walking Dead is and always was phenomenal. Marvel Zombies, a pretty good idea. But now we are approaching the end of the zombie movie we’ve been sludging through, no one is left to buy these issues, and the credits are rolling. I don’t want to read Marvel Zombies III, and I really don’t want to see my favorite titles with a variant zombie cover. Seriously, what were you thinking?

The sad truth is that most of the world does not read comics or even consider them a true art form. Those fans who do stick through the lean years or eras like the dreaded ’90s all have limited budgets. We are upon tough times in an economy that is ruthless. If the casual fan picks up a random book from the shelves it should be good and worth the $3 he or she plugs down, or they may never return again.

Glut Sluts

So why is it, whenever one good title comes out, everyone and their mom tries to imitate it? Fables was a hit so now a thousand titles featuring fairy tales pop up like a bad case of VD at summer camp. I know the temptation is there but just let it be. Just for emphasis, Saturday Night Live, pretty good, the Coneheads movie, not so good.

We all have bad ideas, but a bad comic starts from a bad idea then someone takes the time to pencil that bad idea, then an inker traces over that bad idea, then someone letters that bad idea and all the while an editor somehow convinces himself that it isn’t a bad idea. Finally, it arrives in my hands after I surrender some hard-earned money because the cover looks good or a familiar name is on the cover.

Creating comics can be like cheap beer; some people just don’t know when to say when. Others get money thrown at them until they bend over. Please just stop a book before it goes down the long road to oblivion. Whatever the case may be, here are some spectacularly bad titles that should never have made print.

Advantages of the Glut

The only decent thing about gluts is the chance given to upcoming artists to gain wider audiences. I’ve discovered more than a few writers and artists from glut titles. No artist is going to be given Uncanny X-Men after seeing his portfolio at a con, but he or she may get a chance on a lesser-selling title.

Go get ‘em tiger!

The book may suck, but at least your skills will make it suck less, and people like me will at least appreciate the effort. And of course, occasionally a rare gem comes from the rough patch. After all, The Simpsons was a spinoff from the Tracy Ullman Show.

Even Raimi Hated Spider-Man 3

Most fanboys like Venom, but that does not mean he needs his own title that stretches on and on.  A title may sell issues in the short run, but that title will soon be found in the dollar bin at stores desperately trying to unload some stock.  The average fan can only take some many bad titles before they switch to other activities in their free time such as video games, movies, maybe even talking to people of the opposite gender.

Justin Maudslien is the artist and writer behind Sub-Human (http://www.sub-human.org), a semi-autobiographical comic about a borderline alcoholic fanboy bumbling his way through the Seattle school system as a substitute teacher. He is also the West Coast satellite for the Sequential Art Collective. His more “informal blog” can be found at http://www.myspace.com/subhumanthecomic.